Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i barfeds in our rink
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
