Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
