Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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