So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
