Have you finally orgasmed yet?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
