He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
