i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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