Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
