Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
