Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
