I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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