I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
