Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
