she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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