Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
