ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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