She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
