I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
