people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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