p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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