Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
