your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
