SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
