went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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