Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
