This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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