hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
