I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
