smell my finger.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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