Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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