Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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