she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
