Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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