Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
