i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
