Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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