Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
