if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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