you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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