Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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