Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Randomize
