ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
