i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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