you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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