I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
