Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
