Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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