He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it