so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
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I miss vodka workout Fridays
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
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There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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