Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
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It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
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Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
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