The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
