god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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