He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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