I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize