He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
