Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize