i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Randomize