i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
