I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize