5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
