I cockslap morals
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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