Got a toothbrush?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
