I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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