Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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