Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm having to shit out rocks
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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