I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
