whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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