id be glad to
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
