Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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