Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
