How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
