went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize