pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize