oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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