sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
