I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
