I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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