I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
